Deeper Conversation.

Theres something about having a deep meaningful conversation with the one you love. Like you strengthened your relationship and grew closer in a even more intimate relationship when you didn’t even believe it was possible. The feeling of creating something magical through your conversations and knowing the two of you are on the same page. Man, It’s truly something great. I love this feeling and I love being in love

Grateful.

Everything is so beautiful. Look. Look at how the sunshine outlines a leaf in soft gold. Look how pure the clouds are against the bright blue sky. Listen to the birds singing their song. Listen to the laughter of a child - listen to their innocence and their curiosity that most adults have lost. Feel the dirt; the dirt that provides as a home for beautiful to-be-sprouted plants. When they sprout, notice their colors. Rich green leaves, a bright yellow flower. Feel the love between you and someone you care about who cares about you as well. Feel the rain on your skin; a natural shower - your skin loves it. Look at the wild fruit that trees and bushes bear. This is nature’s candy. This is life. You are alive. What more could you ask for?

Waking Life.

“It might be true that there are six billion people in the world and counting. Nevertheless, what you do makes a difference. It makes a difference, first of all, in material terms. Makes a difference to other people and it sets an example. In short, I think the message here is… that we should never simply write ourselves off… and see ourselves as the victim of various forces. It’s always our decision who we are.”

Now It All Makes Sense.

When you slow down, or quicken your thoughts or your perceptions, you automatically begin to alter your focus, to step aside from your officially recognized existence. This is highly important, for in certain terms you are indeed transcending the time framework that you imagine to be so real.

Of Course, That's It.

We’re human beings that experience human emotions. How we feel is a reflection of our environment, and with today’s societal standards and the stresses that come along with them, it’s hard for people to not experience things like depression or social anxiety or bipolar ‘disorder’ or attention deffest ‘disorder,’ when those “disorders” aren’t even disorders, they’re natural human tendencies that come through our emotions! Until we change our environment to a more positive and uplifting state, over millions of people will continue to suffer from those emotions. It’s that simple.

Oh Boy.

Every day does gets better and better.
I truly do believe I have that one person for me.
It has been nearly three weeks since I met him..
Each time I talk with him, he opens my eyes a little bigger, seeing and learning of things that I never really tried to appreciate before. And I'm being able to enjoy life more, that's more then just working and living every day hoping for something better. He is the one person that I can be honest with, be straight with, and truly show who I am without the slightest idea that he would judge me. But be there for me. 
He would basically do anything to make me happy and he puts me first before anything, I think before himself. And ask nothing in return. I could not be use to this which is why I can't believe if this is really for real. How he makes me feel so safe, feels like home. Its unbelievable how much we talk, after three weeks we still have so much to say. Finding out new things, little things bout each other, always communicating.
The littles things are the most important. Like how he tells me he misses me when we only saw each other a few minutes ago. How he looks at me, as if he is telling me he loves me with his eyes. How he is so gentle with me.  How he kisses my forehead. How he reaches to hold my hand. How he pulls me closer to him. How he can talk with me bout anything, childhood, future. How he isn't afraid of showing me his true self. How every time he open doors for me. Being a proper gentlemen. As if I'm the most important person in his life, that I'm the only one that matters. That makes me love him.
Love that we are always talking about our future together, to our children, to our house, and even where we are going to live. We plan to spend as much time as we can. How we even plan, I have never been much of a planner but planning with him is the most important. Just the fact that we can talk anything, that we have kind of the same taste, similarities. Even though we are two completely two different people, we get each other. We trust each other.
He is the person for me, and I am never letting him go. I finally found the person for me, for me to love and him to love me. To always be there for me when no one else is. To be mine and only mine.
My happiness, I have finally found it. Him.

Maharishi Mahesh Yogi

“All speech, action, and behavior are fluctuations of consciousness. All life emerges from, and is sustained in, consciousness. The whole universe is the expression of consciousness. The reality of the universe is one unbounded ocean of consciousness in motion.”

that’s not living at all.

If there’s something that you feel in your heart as right, don’t ever trade that feeling in for an ideal that someone else expects you to live up to… because that’s not living at all.

One day at a time.

There are so many beautiful people out there putting so many things of value into the world and standing up for what’s right… it gives me such relief and it gains my confidence in knowing that things are gradually getting better.

D. H. Lawrence

I am part of the sun as my eye is part of me. That I am part of the earth my feet know perfectly, and my blood is part of the sea. There is not any part of me that is alone and absolute except my mind, and we shall find that the mind has no existence by itself, it is only the glitter of the sun on the surfaces of the water.

I wonder im far-sighted. The further things are, the better I can see. The closer things are the more I lose sight of them.

Finally. Finally. Finally. Finally. I found you.

Get Over It.

Life goes on and there's no way to stop it. Sometimes things work out and sometimes they don't. That's just the way it is.

I Miss You.

You touched my heart with the words you spoke. The feeling they provoked lingered in my chest. I repeated them to myself, but as they escaped from my mouth, the feeling wasn't the same. It's never the same if you're not around. I'm not the same if you're not around.

I am here and I am trying to live in the present, not the past of the future. I can do nothing about either of them and it's as simple as that.

Don't Forget It.

Close your eyes and think of everything that makes you happy. Close your eyes and think of me. Dream of the things that you want to do with your life. Dream about the things you wish you could have done differently and go back and do them. Sleep and let your dreams take over, because you are untouchable and there's nothing anyone can do to stop you.

Wake Up.

We all feel lonely at some point; some a little more the others. We all feel alive at some point; some a little less the others. We dream with our eyes closed and we dream with them open. We sleepwalk our way through life every day without ever knowing that we're actually asleep until one day, someone interesting comes alone and wakes us up. We close our eyes to forget the days that get us down and hold on to the moments that made us feel alive. I'll never forget the times that you made me feel alive.

Oh Yes, You Beautiful Man.

Today was a good day. I could feel us getting closer and not just in a obvious way. The way you make me feel is different, better. You make me feel special, pretty, happy. The way you hold my hand, kiss my cheeks and forehead, and pull me close to you; it just make me feel. I only hope that this turns into something more, something real.

Just To Be Myself.

I don't want to be afraid of living. I don't want to be afraid of the things I feel and the things I think. I don't want to be afraid to do all of the things I want to do. I don't want to be afraid to tell you how I feel or what I'm thinking. I don't want to be afraid. I just want to feel. I just want to think. I just want to do. I just want to live.

Oh Please, Please.

I feel like I get my hopes up too much. I get excited for things to happen then they never do and then disappointment sets in soon after. I've been trying not to be too excited about thing ahead of time, but this time and if there was no disappointment. Please, please, please, let me get what I want.

It Has Been A Year Since Then.

1.Get done with school.
2.Finish my designs.
3.Go see Faris.
4.Be honest.
5.Be more caring.
6.DON'T CUT HAIR, LET IT FLOW.
7.Be a good friend.
8.First tattoo on July 16th.
9.Learn acoustic guitar.
10.Learn drums.
11.Start longboarding.
12.Buy holga fisheye.
13.Make hemp bracelets.
14.Start opening up.
15.NO MORE SHYNESS.
16.Slowly down on Hot Cheetos.
17.Bike every morning.
18.Set things straight with everyone.
18.Listen
19.Obey.
20.Be honest with myself.
21.Take singing lessons.
22.Get an imagination.
23.Get Gauges.
24.Speak my mind.
25.Have my own opinions
26.Learn how to sew.
27.Master Hardstyle Shuffle
28.At least stay up one night to watch the sun rise at Perlis with Taro.
29.See Blink-182 LIVE.
30.Listen to more new local bands.
31.Be slick.
32.Learn to speak Bahasa Melayu
33.Go to bed around 9pm.
34.Speak to my old friends.
35.Give the ring back.
36.Save my money.
37.Get brand new Subaru WRX.
38.Make a yellow hat.
39.Start BREAK-THROUGH.
40.Unpack.
41.Finally Move on and Forget.
42.Show my feelings.
43.Learn my history.
44.Less straight-forward.
45.Write in my diary daily.
46.Climb a huge mountain.
47.Ride a Ducati Superbike 848.
48.Earth friendly.
49.Read more.
50.Learn how to cook.
51.Spend a day at the beach.
52.Be true to what I say.
53.Take my time.
54.Get my braces off.
55.Be more gentle and safe.
56.Share with Strangers.
57.Plant a mango tree.
58.Paint a picture.
59.Karma happens.
60.Play black-jack.
61.Attend Rantai in Malaysia.
62.Meet Yoji
63.Get better at driving.
64.あまり食べる.
65.人の人が考えることの苦労-LESS PRESSURE.
66.No drugs.
67.No drinking.
68.Live your life.
69.Be scared.
70.Don't always be happy.
71.Theres a time and place for everything.
72.Be strong.
73.Be respectful.
74.Learn to draw.
75.Take better pictures.
76.Be clean.
77.Finish the book of Mormon.
78.NO CELL PHONE.
79.Stress-free.
80.Learn to surf.
81.Lose some fat.
82.Smile more.
83.Laugh more.
84.Live more.
85.Be open.
86.Go to college.
87.Be helpful.
88.Less selfish.
89.Give back.
90.Love more.
91.Give a hug a day.
92.Meet a new person everyday.
93.Be closer to family members
94.Use words, not fist.
95.Buy more converse.
96.Get a macbook.
97.Find pirate.
98.Stop bitting my nails.
99.Live in Malaysia.
100.Be Gizmo.

Restart Button.

Loving things like I did when I was little is what is slowly, but surely, coming back into my life. Loving things because they catch my fascination with a curious passion, not loving things because they are what someone else told me to love.

Yesterday. Today. Tomorrow.

Everyday life is different from the last.
So I'll be the same and never be like the last.

People These Days.

It’s funny how certain people think that just because they don’t agree with me, they can change my opinion or stop me from doing what I love by trying to make me seem like a fool. It’s just like dude, let me do what I feel I need to do because for me, it is making a difference on certain degrees and I’ll keep doing what I can to expand it even more. Humanity would eat itself alive if it weren’t for the people who tried to make a difference.

Overthinking.

Not many people really know the feeling of actually feeling something on an inner level. I don’t mean feeling happiness or sadness, and I don’t mean feeling something physically… I mean, feeling as in a universal, intuitive, indescribable feeling of something purely right inside and out, manifesting all around. I think that’s because people are so conditioned to worry all the time due to how we were raised in this society… you know, worrying about being late or about what this person thinks about us or about how to act in front of certain people so they will like us… just worrying about anything, even things that aren’t even in existence like a scenario we play in our minds of a situation that isn’t even happening in the Now. We have been taught to put all of our energies into materialistic, superficial things that a lot of people have kind of lost touch with our natural intuition.
I feel that depression shouldn’t be something that you take a pill for. I don’t get the whole ‘take drugs to release serotonin in your brain’ thing because that’s basically exactly like taking ecstasy or drinking (etc.) to temporarily take the depression away. They both have the same outcomes which are dependency over the drug and increased depression if you don’t continue taking the drug. All of which leaving no room for personal experience to independently grow and actually become cured. There are so many natural, drug-free things people can do to cure their depression. Studies have shown that being in nature on a day to day basis decreases depression and can actually cure it as well. Studies have also shown that gardening, creativity (drawing, painting, writing, etc.), exercise and eating organic whole foods decreases and can even cure depression as well.

Enough.

I'll seek you out, filet you alive.
One more word and you won't survive.
And I'm not scared of your stolen power.
I see right through you any hour.
I won't soothe your pain.
I won't ease your strain.
I'm taking it slow, feeding my flame.
I won't soothe your pain.

Finally.

Oh I have found the one who mends with eyes.

If I Only Knew Sooner.

I heard about your regrets.
I heard that you were feeling sorry
I heard from someone that you wish you could set things right..
Well, I guess I should have heard of that from you.
I guess I should have heard of that from you.