19/365 - Trying your hardest

Doing my best isn't something I'm good at, but I want to be.
I have been going in circles and I want to get out.
Falling in the same hole and not climbing out.
I just want that to stop and actually keep going with progress.
I'm doing good, something happens that makes me stop.
Something that I don't know what is it, yet it impacts my situation.
I think it's something from my past but I can't find it.
Hope it gets better though.

6

I have been having dreams which is surprising for me because I never have them but lately they have been really frightening, scary dreams that I wake up very scared. After I wake up, I just forget them and I don't remember no matter how hard I try and I fall back asleep. I want to start waking up early and starting my day fresh. I want to understand my dreams, I'll jot down my dreams and figure it out. I don't want to have any dreams like the ones I have ever again, It's too abnormal for me.

oneweek

Yes and I'll keep going going.

5 days are coming easy

I know I can keep going , it's easy for now.

18/365 - Having some faith

I watched what I was doing with everything and anything.
I feel pretty good and I really need to be strong.
For something like anything in my life to work out.
I need to always be on my watch and think about what I'm doing.
I know I can do this, but for that second I think I can't.
I need to be strong and see if I can really do this.
If not, then I'm pretty much not what I thought I was.
I need this for myself.
I know I can do but it is going to be hard.

Day Two Is Simply Easy

It is still going and I'm solid.

5

Day one -
It's a start, beginning and it won't end.

Taking it back from the start.
I know it's going to hurt but I need to this.
I need this for myself.
I'm not thinking of just myself.
Well maybe I am but this is my time.
My time is to be myself and not get be held back.
I feel like I'm always doing something for others.
I want to do something for me but I don't know what.
Maybe I think it's just for me.

17/365 - Rocket in my mind.

I seriously don't know what to do.
I'm not bored but it's that time that I want something different.
I'm not that same person I was yesterday.
It is getting harder trying to do my best.
I really don't want to give up but yet walk away.
It seems like I don't know how to start.
But I don't know how to begin.
I need to do this for myself, I can't be helped.
Not with this problem.
I seem like I'm walking in circles.

16/365 - hurting on the inside

Once in awhile you have that moment to yourself to let it out everything that you have been holding it, well I haven't had that moment to myself but I can feel it coming to me and by now I thought that I finally gotten use to it that I wouldn't give into myself but I like that feeling that I get when I'm done, I know what to do with what I have right now and I'm ready to go. I kinda wish I had something when I was younger instead of being so weak and pretending to be who I am but I'm really not. When I have that moment then I'll let it all out and I'll finally feel great that I can cry again. I love having these feelings of what I'm feeling for every single thing, Always a joy.

4

I'm listening to Regina Spektor - The Calculation.
This morning I fell down and right now it's hurting so bad.
Yesterday my hair is back to feeling soft and smells good.
Tonight going to hang out with some chill people.
Tomorrow I'm going to finally get up.

O'course too good for words.

my heart is pretty full for what the reason of what it is, and I can't do anything but smile :). I wish you guys are having the same feeling of joyfulness that I'm feeling.

To happy for the weekend
I can feel the freedom
I want to do something fun
then again I don't' know what.

I had a good week, I got to see an old friend.
I found someone.
I feel like I have grown up some.

I don't know what to do!
I'm very excited.
I'm very shy.
I'm very nervous.
I'm very happy.
I'm very scared.
I want to cry.
I want to scream.
I want to jump with joy.
My heart is aching with happiness.
I seriously can't this, I wasn't prepare.

My heart is pounding pounding

I feel like I'm in love for the first time.
I don't know how to react to what your saying.
I can't stop my heart from pounding outside my chest.
I'm too nervous to say anything so I nod.
I sit as I try to think of something to say.
It's useless, I am trying to hard when your so good at it.
I can feel my face is all red and hot.
I can't think of anything, still.

3

I started to think of ideas what I could use for my use of the things I want people to see, It's going alright but I haven't started designing just yet. I'm still brain storming of new and better ideas.

All I want and more

I haven't been blogging that much and I haven't been writing in my book as well, I just can't think and how to put it in paper I don't know what I'm thinking maybe I just always thought that if I wrote it down then that would it be but when I'm done writing then later I would go back and read it, it doesn't look good so I would erase it or just rip the pages out of it. I don't know what to do about that, but I think its just that I don't have anything really to say. What I'm saying is that I just want more out of life instead of doing the same things every single day. I need something new.

Save tonight for I'll be gone.

I can't help but think of something amazing and forget it.

Okay, I haven't been that good. Soz.