Super Ok

Many things were said and done.
They are over with and have begun.
It's the beginning but it's the end at the same time.
Words were exchanged nothing but the honest truth.

I know I'm not a good person but I try my best.
I'm not faking what I feel or what I say.
But I am confused with a lot of things.
I am who I am and I know that for sure.

It's my life, and I don't want to waste it.

feeling lighter

i cut my hair and surprisely i really love it.
i'll post a picture later.
i haven't been sleeping well but it's okay.
it's not affecting me that i can't do anything else.
i just get some rest.

26/365 - Only With Time

Suffering will make you stronger, I don't know about that. Everything in life will always have different answer, different ways, different questions because nobody is alike and it's just plain different. All my problems, stuggles, fear are not the same with everyone else. It might seem like it's the same. But they will always make me stronger because I grew up never giving up, I would if I don't think I can go on but I soon to realize that I can because I have done it before many times. Others, they make think different like they are doing it for someone they love, being the lessself person they are. Every thing needs a reason. The pain that I'm dealing with is inside my heart that only few would only understand, I'm not that strong but if I have enough faith in myself I know for sure that I will become a better person once I have passed it and actually be strong to live through it. The hardest is when you can't do anything and all you do is think, makes you really depressed because when I do it I think of all the things I could be doing but I'm not. Hopefully that will change as I keep getting more stuggles and problems in my life to come.

Maybe this isn't so bad, I mean yeah I wouldn't like it if I just didn't come back down there and kind of lost contact. I'm doing just fine and I'm loving what I'm about to do, hopefully that I won't lose my way and slowly lose myself. I know who am I and I love what I'm going to become. I have problems, struggles but I'm glad that I'm going through it. I am making sure that I still have some of me left and that I am going to come back down, just maybe for a little while. but i belive that i have found what i want to do.

8

I'm starting again, with everything.
I'll be more better at the things I'm bad at.
Being more honest with the people are me.
I won't hold in what is making me sad.
I wanna be able to talk to a person each day.
Don't want to be always so busy with work.
Just enjoy the simple life.

25/365 - Never Stop Writing

I never really enjoy writing in a notebook or on a page because I didn't enjoy my handwriting, maybe it's the pen. So I'm trying and trying, I want a really good handwriting that suits me. I never wrote with a pencil I usually write in pen and drawing or just doodling. I'll write what I'm feeling, what I did today.

i am truly happy with my life.

I feel different in a way that is good because it depends on how much I changed, I always want to change for the better. I'm really going to try my best because now I have something that I want to keep in my life always. I want to see things in a positive way I spent most of my life looking at the negative and not changing my point of view. I found someone that knows the real me and accepts me, that is the opposite of me and I adore him. It is always a good thing to change, but never is it going to be easy just worth it.


Night after night I look at the sky
And ask why you are not here.
Night after night I listen to the
Overwhelming sound of my heart

sometimes life gets harder everyday
right now things will never be the same
stand up! with everything you've got
cus after all we're the one whos winning

23/365 - just water for us

I got a chance to talk with Emily, like really talk to her even if all that time we talked she just kept telling me to stay here, I really do want to stay but at the same time I know that I can't because I already did what I wanted and needed to do for myself and slowly I want to find myself on my own. I don't want to burden anywhere, I know that I won't get anywhere down here expect in my own hole and keep digging and I won't stop. We talked mainly about me and she just listened, I told what I was really feeling, told her the honest truth. I feel so happy that I made her cry knowing that she did understand me and I can talk to her even when it isn't the best time for her and myself. I will miss everyone back home. I'm glad she heard me even if I was whispering the words to her and telling her every details, only drinking water after dinner. I love you Emily. I don't know when I'll come back but I will come back once in awhile because you are always on my mind.

Good Insomnia

I toss and turn at night because I'm too excited to what we are going to say to one another, what will bring us closer, will I be able to hold your hand, look in your eyes and tell that I love you. I'm happy that I'll be able to see you tomorrow, which is today, in a couple of hours. I'm going to keep myself busy till then. So I got a cup of water, listening to that song and I slowly closed my eyes and dream of you.

My weekend was too good, now I smile when I think about it
Just waiting till I come back

pergi dengan kebahagiaan

I pulang ke rumah untuk berakhir pekan sejak aku pindah dan saya tinggal di kota lain yang tidak begitu jauh tapi jauh sehingga saya tidak dapat melihat siapa yang saya inginkan ketika saya ingin . Banyak hal yang terjadi dengan cara itu saya tidak berencana untuk terjadi tapi sekali lagi saya selalu menjadi hal yang buruk pada perencanaan . I senang pergi jalan itu berjalan , begitu bahagia bahwa saya benar-benar berpikir i am kuat lalu i was sebelum dan akhirnya melanjutkan hidupku dengan cinta dan banyak kepercayaan .
maaf jika anda tidak dapat mengerti , beruang dengan saya