yet i tend i get lonely

when i have my happy moments, not really to the point where there is no room for anything except that such joy but i do feel a bit sad that somewhere inside me isn't right and honestly don't know what to do with it. i have tried many things to get it out or at least figure out what it is, yet it lingers and just stays. i know it isn't guilty or regret but it just somewhat lonely where i can't be fully happy, where i don't want to be around people but my journal, and me being somewhere alone and just nonstop writing. someday i'll figure it out.